falling forward

Recently I was asked specifically by a close friend, “does God really hear and respond to your questions, your prayers?” I have to admit, even at the risk of sounding like a ‘delusional tool’ I told him, “yeah, He always answers my prayers. Always.”

It’s that simple, but it’s also that tricky too.

There is this great scene in The Matrix Reloaded (part 2 of the series) where Neo goes to meet the Oracle. It’s a very revealing scene in terms of our own human nature and how we respond to the choices (answers) that we arrive at in our lives. Neo comes to the Oracle facing a choice, but the Oracle (knowing all, seeing all) rebuts Neo that his real issue is understanding why he must choose what he has to choose. Neo’s challenge is, just like our own internal struggles with our belief in God’s response or non-response to our prayers, is two-fold:

• How can I trust God when I have so many doubts? Yep, this is a biggee. And as cliche as this might read - it requires the choice of faith from the outset. We tend to want to compile as much empirical data we can before we make a choice most times, but in the end we still have to use judgment. And judgment is nothing more an a well-informed conclusion based on experiential or interpretive data. It’s a well informed hunch. Even more simply, it’s faith. Trust requires we turn it all over to God. And the more we come to understand how he provides for us, the easier it is is to trust, choose, and follow His leading in our lives.

I love the Oracle’s response to Neo’s question of trust: ” Bingo! That is the pickle, no doubt about it. Bad news is there is no way if you can really know if I’m here to help you or not. So it’s really up to you. You’re just gonna have to make-up your own damn mind to either accept what I’m going to tell you or reject it.”

• It’s not the answer to our prayers that is the problem, its really about understanding the answers God provides us with. The Matrix series is about two things: choice and understanding. In the opening scenes of the series, Neo is given a choice of a red pill or the blue pill. One will keep him in the oblivion of the “matrix” and the other will set his mind free to a new level of understanding. Making choices isn’t difficult after awhile for Neo, but understanding the choices he is given is a more difficult reality.

The same holds true in our relationship with God. If we take him at this fullest - always present, all seeing, all knowing -  the the answers we seek from Him really are reflection of what we already know to be the right steps in our lives. The real challenge comes in understanding why he gives us the answers we get from Him and the real choice comes into accepting the answers He provides us with. Will we choose to ignore his answers or will we choose to follow them? Either way, God knows how we will choose and regardless he continues to walk beside us - giving us more opportunities to choose and understand His leading in our lives.

I wished I could write today that beyond a doubt I have always choose the answers that God has provided me with in my life. Or that I have arrived at a point of understanding His character and how it operates best in my life. Quite contrary! I am a messy, roughed-up, flawed, metro-masculine-emo-type-of-guy who has to work it out daily with God. However, since I have arrived at point where I can now realize God’s handiwork in my life, I now know He loves me. He watches out for me. He provides for me. I understand he answers each of my prayers. I just wish I could always accept His answers without so much struggling.